Maybe I should change the title of this Blog

"My life as a Raging Geriatric Nurse"

It just feels like every time I have a bad day I am compelled to Blog.  I am just so tired of taking a beating.  Having to pic up the slack for other peoples mistakes and not being able to get my own work done.  I know as ADON that that is part of my job, but jeesh people....ADMIT your mistakes!!!  Suck it up!!  I would be so much more open about picking up the slack if people would just say "Im sorry, I messed up".  I screw up all the time. I am no where near the perfect nurse or supervisor, but I always confess to my wrong doings.
Being a nurse has got to be one of the hardest jobs in the world.  Its dirty and stressful and emotionally draining.  Its will beat you down and lift you up.  It is a woman driven field where we all work with our emotions and hearts on our sleeves.  We don't need the gossiping and back stabbing that surrounds us.  Hurting each other to make ourselves look good.  I'm not sure why they do it.  It just makes them look bad and causes others to feel bad.  I just want to scream shut up, shut up, shut up!  Stop spreading speculative garbage that it probably not true!  Don't repeat stories you don't know are true.  Don't make up things.  Be optimistic. Don't get pissy because the rules were stretched for someone.  Be considerate of other peoples life, you don't really know what they are going through.  Be grateful of your open minded bosses because you might be going through a difficult time sometime and you might need some consideration sometime.
UGGG.... I get so tired of my own bitching bitching bitching.  I will make things better or get fired trying.
So here is my self pep-talk.....  I can do this!  I will make things better!!! I can do this!!!!  I will always be open minded!!!! I can do this!!!  I will make a positive work place!!!!!  I can do this!! I will be a role model for my co-workers!!!! I can do this!!!  I will be a concerned and loving supervisor!!!!  I can do this!!!!  I will always try to be better!!! I can do this!  I WILL MAKE THINGS BETTER!!!  I WILL MAKE THINGS BETTER!!!! I WILL MAKE THINGS BETTER!!!!

Some times it just beats your heart to death

I'm not one that gets "too" attached anymore.  Most of the time I see a patient that is ill and frail as part of the process of life.  It's normal.  It's just how it happens.  My patent's decline in health until the go to Glory and no longer need my assistance.  I know that it is so hard for the loved ones to see this and accept. It's my job to make their "going home" as peaceful and comfortable as possible.
BUT......
Every once in a while I get this patent that steals my heart from day #1 and it is just so dang hard.  I so much love my job.  I know I am important and what I do matters.  I thank God for giving me the mind set that I have when caring for those in my charge because I just couldn't do it if I grieved for all the way I grieve for a few.  Most I do just love but am happy for them.  That their suffering has come to an end.
SO.....
I just want to take a minute to say this prayer.
Dear Heavenly Father,  Thank You so much for the gifts that you have given me.  Thank You for my heart and the ability to feel compaction and empathy for my patent's and family's.  Thank you form giving me the talent of Nursing and the ability to Love then let go.  Please be with me when I struggle and want to give up.  Be with my mind and heart when it is so hard.  In Jesus name, Amen

Well, I am a blog slacker

I'm here, I'm here.  I am not sure how long it has been but I know it has been a while.
So what's the scoop in my Geriatric Nurse world?
Well, I am now the ADON at the Nursing Home. I applied to the job of Staffing Coordinator, but Corporate changed my job title to ADON.
I applied for the job because I have a passion for making things better for the Nurses and CNA's in the Nursing Home world. I want them to have time off, to not be denied for their earned Vacations. To make this, life in the hardest Nursing job it the world better.  To make the staff WANT to stay.  To keep enough staff that they have time to fall in love with our elderly patients so when times do get tough they can't bring themselves to leave because their hearts won't let them. 
BUT, it is not working.  I can't get to the point I have enough staff to make it work.  I hire a couple and a couple or more leave.  Of coarse some have left because they didn't have a choice and Im sure some have left because even with my good intentions, I am sure I have done something to make someone mad.  My major problem is the way other supervisors talk to some of the staff. There is Nurse's that have forgotten just what it is like being a CNA in a nursing home. Or the Supervisors that forget what it is like to be a Nurse in a Nursing Home.  New policies, new procedures, it is just such an overwhelming job. Inadequate training and no compassion for the night shift for said inadequate training.  
I have never understood why there can be only ONE mandatory meeting for and training.  I really want to schedule some at 2AM and that is all.  See how many people show up in the middle of the night, because at 2pm, that is exactly what you are asking the Night shift to do.
I have goals for staffing, but I just feel like I am never going to be able to make it happen.
I do have to say, that I have hired some really great staff members lately and it gives me hope.  This would include my own daughter.  Let me tell ya, this is an odd experience of apprehension and joy.   I knew what would come with the "well she is the bosses daughter". But, the joy I feel when the patients come up to me and tell me how much they like her and that she is doing a good job....well, swell my heart.  I am having some trouble when I here the other CNA's are putting her through the "normal" treat her like an outsider, new nurse's aid crap.  Not understanding that someone new to this job is going to take a while before they are decent at it, never the less good.
Oh well, I am going to keep trying to make it better.