It's about time to be the Hated Bitch Nurse again.

I feel myself teetering on the edge of my mouth getting me into ALOT of trouble.  I have been the "Bitch Nurse" that everybody hates to work with because I expect a higher standard of care.  It sucks!!  Nobody likes to be hated by all, but after a while people get used to you and realize that you are not so bad and what you expect isn't so bad and what I expect becomes their habit.  After a while, like in so many nursing homes, people leave and you get a new crew with bad habits, that have been trained badly.  A lot don't know better and A lot don't care and I have to go back to Super Witch.  I really do hate being that person. I hate coming to work and having to be upset by something everyday, but I see it happening almost daily again and I feel myself getting to the spot where my mouth is going to pop open. When that happens, the crap just fly's out and I find it overwhelmingly hard to stop myself. I know I should deal with issues when they come up, and not let things get to the point where venom flows from my face, but I'm human. I like people to like me.  I hate the months that go by where people talk behind my back, because they think I am mean and they twist my words so whatever I said was ridiculous and demanding, a flat out lie, or a defamation of their upstanding superior employee character.  Each talking crap about me, to someone, who repeats it to someone, who can't wait to tell me, not that they don't keep on repeating it to others as well. This is the reality I have found of working in the world of a woman dominate field. Gossipy and bitchy, not liking to be criticized even if it is constructive.

Lately it has just been so hard at work. The patients have been impossible and they seem to go crazy about 30 minutes after I walk in the door to put me 3 hours behind, then I spend the entire night trying to play catch up, for which the most part I fail at and end up leaving 2 hours late every day.  I can't remember when I made it home before the kids left for school last.

Let me bang out a few examples of the things that are making me NUTS...
Not filling out orders correctly, only completing half of it.  It is a very multi-step job, and when it is not finished, the nurse that finds it has to fix it, and since it only seems to bother me that it's not done right.....IT"S ME!!!

Not obtaining orders at all.  I had a patient that had a skin tear, when I went to see what the order was because her bandage came off, she had orders for 2 skin tears that were already healed and NO orders for the two that she does have.

Letting things go, when you are told about something.  I told about a resident get congested 2 nights in a row, and yet nothing was done about it during the day. The Dr. does not want me to call him after hours to tell him a patient is getting a cold. Don't let it wait until I have to because he has a fever or he is having difficulty breathing.

Not turning patients...When you go in to check someone and they are dry.  YOU STILL HAVE TO TURN THEM!!!  Not only is there skin delicate and breaks down easy, but dang, I am only 40 and if I lay perfectly still for 2-3 hours, I hurt and ache and it painful to move. I can't imagine what it would be like to be 90 and someone make you lay in the exact same spot for 4 to 5 hours, because I can't move myself.

WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS!!!!  OK, yuck on you if you don't wear gloves. I would much rather you would, but OMGoodness, for the love of all that is holy WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS.  A couple of days ago I seen someone put their hands on a patients wet pads.  Actually I did the same thing.  I just went to pull him up like he asked and he failed to inform us that he was wet.  I stopped, washed my hands and applied gloves.  The other person, said, what is he wet, touched his pads, said "oh, he is" then wiped her hand on her shirt, and kept on going.  Honestly, this is where I should have blown my gasket, but really, I was immediately too shocked to comment and couldn't really while there were two patent's in the room, and by the time I was done, and already way late and taken advantage of for being asked to stop what I was doing to do this task anyway (there was 2 aids in the room), I forgot to pause in the hall to deal with it, but now that I am on a blogging roll...might I just say...ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!

Ok, so that was some long examples. I would like to say that I am in no way saying that I am a perfect nurse or a super employee, because I will be the 1st to admit that I am not.  I have ADD, so focus is not my forte'.  I am very easily distracted which also puts me behind a lot.  If I get a chance to procrastinate, a lot of times I do.  I let people take advantage of me.  I have difficulty saying no, even when I am late, and behind and feeling overwhelmed.  I take over things, I fail to let people learn from me, because I would just rather do it  right, than explain it and risk them not doing it the way I think they should.   AND THE WORST...I forget almost everything. My memory retains things about 30 seconds. If I don't write it down, it's gone, and if I do write it down, there is a very good possibility I will lose the paper I wrote it on so it will be gone anyway.

OK, well that is enough. Chances are if you are one of the few that get to read my venty jumbled mess of words, then you are not among the people that are irritating the crap out of me so the only thing you need to worry about is possible blood spatter when that one co-worker just happens to have broken the camel's back.  (just keep some of those sani-bleach wipes in your pocket, they kill blood germs) ;)

One REALLY long night

Last night was a particularly hard night. 1st off, I know it is not nice to say, but my Co-nurse, might possibly  have some dementia herself. She is the RN charge nurse, the final decision maker. The one you go to for advise or consult. YEAH RIGHT!!  She is only worked at the facility for a couple of months, and still needs some procedural guidance as far a paperwork and such, but I shouldn't have to still spend so much of my time telling her what papers to fill out, or telling her to do things one step at a time because multiple steps are overwhelming.
OK, on to #2 one patient has been moved to comfort measures only.  This is an end of life treatment where all you do for the patient is keep them as comfortable as possible.  Lots of family that didn't get much warning, daughters that are finding it hard to let go (not that I blame them) and one patient that just is NOT comfortable.  Requiring ALOT of attention to aid in her comfort.  Not that I mind one little bit at this point making her comfortable is my #1 priority.
Now to #3 one patient with a mental disorder that is giving me a mental disorder. I cant really say more than that due to patient confidentiality but lets just say she is sucking up WAY more than her fair share or my time. Now for #4 Little Miss Behaviors, laying in her bed screaming my name or my nurse's aids name to the top of her lungs all night long for one little ridiculous thing or another such as.."I dropped my tissue" or "can I have some more water" when she still has half a glass. Cover my feet, uncover my feet, turn up my air conditioner 1 degree, turn down my air 2 degrees, move my left foot to right might 1 inch, my heels touching the bed" and so on and so on. All this screaming all night wakes up #'s 5, 6, and 7. Who would not have known they needed pain pills or cough meds or 986 trips to the bathroom if she would have just used a call light to drive me crazy.  #8 Fall..."I just fell on my butt" at least he is happy..lol, but no less paperwork for me.  #9 Skin tear, huge, mean old woman that does NOT want washed off never the less bandaged. #9 again...She bit my CNA....#9 again, man she really does not like that bandage...ugg, she has to wear the bandage.
So, here is # 10 and it is a biggy...by 3:30am, not one nurse's note done, not one incident report done, books not signed, NOTHING.  When I do sit down at my computer to start to compose my thoughts my co-nurse stands besides me and starts to draw a picture, stating "don't mind me, this is just something I do".  I try no ignore her (I have ADD, so this is not easy for me)  Luckily it doesn't take more than 15 to 20 minutes. She then shows me that she is standing there sketching my profile.  This is so ridiculous that all I can do is laugh.  My brain is spinning in so many circles that I am not sure where to chart first and my co-worker is sketching my face.
The one good thing about tonight was my CNA's they all came through for me last night. They covered me, one stayed late, one came in early, one picked up the slack.  They got things done and if they could handle things they did and only asked me for help when they had to.  They don't know how much I am grateful to them.  They rocked!!!

PS..The #'s above were only my patients. I could have assigned some #'s to some patients on the other side that needed my help, but I am trying to block those out..lol.

So FRUSTRATED

A friend and co-worker recently put up a post on facebook who posted this.....

I'm ready to find people who care about what they do and are proud of their contribution otherwise the other people should not deplete the oxygen of people who strive to make a difference and do care about their work and accomplishments

It kinda what got me to finally start this Blog.  I wanted to scream at the post "PREACH IT MY BROTHER".  I have been so frustrated lately.  I know not everyone that is hired to work in a nursing home is going to have the passion for it that I do...but...really?...Do they not even care?  Do they not see these little old people as human?  Do they have no work ethic at all?  Do they not feel guilty when they get home for doing LESS than half-assed work.

I just don't get it.  When I get off work, I sometimes can not sleep because I think of stuff that I didn't get done or something that I forgot to pass on to the next nurse.  I literally can't sleep or have dreams about it if I do sleep.

I just don't get it. How playing on your cellphone, or getting to your break at the exact scheduled minute is more important than taking care of your patient that is begging you to take her potty.  I have had nights where I have needed to pee for HOURS because I was just too busy to take 2 minutes, never-the-less and 30 minute break.

I just don't get it.  How someone can leave for the night knowing that their patients aren't clean, dry and comfortable.  If you don't care about your patients do you not even care about the mess you have left for your co-workers.

OK...so this is a short post, my rant is done for tonight.  I know that this blog will reach NONE of the eyes that I would like it to open, but maybe a few will read it that I know share in my frustrations and it will make them feel better knowing that someone else "just don't get it" either.  If you are that person, just remember these few words.....Take a deep breath, count to 10, close your eyes for 5 seconds, then walk away, because if you punch them in the throat....You will end up being the one in trouble...lol.